Good News

So we have been blessed with some great news in our home. First we found out that we are expecting our next child in May! We are so excited we can hardly stand it. We actually found out before our vacation, but went to the doctor last week and confirmed that there is a little bean in there. I thought I'd answer some questions that we've been getting in this post.

Lots of people have asked us if we "planned" our pregnancy. Honestly after the difficulty of getting pregnant with Jude we earned a whole new insight on the idea of "trying" to get pregnant. The miracle of conception and birth are overwhelming. Because of that we decided that we wouldn't try to "plan" this one. We have just left the timing up to God and we're grateful for each day that I get to carry this child and we are praying for the day that we will bring him/her home.

What about Malik? In case you've missed other posts, we do already have 3 children in our home :-). Malik is still with us. There are lots of emotions that roll around concerning that little guy. As of right now we are still his foster parents and it appears that he will leave our home at some point. (The other day Ellison heard me say that "it looks like he will leave our home" to someone and she said to me later "he doesn't look like he's going to leave our home to me." It's really cute how literal she is.) Our hearts are torn and we are not looking forward to the day, should it come, that he leaves. He really fits in with us so well and we'll have to wait and see what the Lord has in store. The next court date is in mid October. Until then, Malik is our son and we will love him as such.

About the gender? We waited to find out the gender of our first 2 kids. Ian told me that the choice is mine about finding out the gender this time. At first I thought it would be fun but after some thought, I think I want to wait again. We already have one of each and I love the excitement towards the end of the pregnancy and on the day of birth. This child will be delivered through c-section, so we will know the birthdate long before it comes. Keeping the gender a surprise is something special for us so I think I'm going to wait until his/her birthday. As for the nursery, the funny this is, we've been in transition when each of our kids arrived so I've never really done anything super fancy. This time will be no different....

Which leads me to my second bit of good news. Over the past 5 years we have pursued going back overseas. It has indeed been a pursuit. Multiple applications, a trip to Austria, numerous conversations with our missions staff at church, prayer, tears, and more prayer. On our last day of vacation, we finally completed our application to a sending agency that we've had a relationship with over the past 4 years, and last Friday we found out that we are officially candidates! The final step is to become an appointee but that happens a few months or weeks before going to the field. Right now there are lots of details up in the air and we, along with our church, are prayerfully considering where we would fit in. Our hearts have always thought that it would be Austria, but we are not sure that's going to be where God is leading us.

So, there you have it! 2 big bits of news in our home. Please be praying that God will keep this little one safe in my womb and for our family as we earnestly seek God's direction in his will for our lives overseas. We are so excited to see what he's up to!

Soccer

First of all, hello! It's been a while. I feel like I should introduce all of my posts by saying "This week on I & B +3." (Like John and Kate plus 8) Life is going so fast these days and it feels like the laundry is never done and there is always work to be done. Tonight I have a few free moments (well I'm taking a few free moments) to update so here we go....

For those of you who know our little girl Ellison, this post should come as no surprise at all. Tonight we had our first soccer practice. Ian and I have been so excited. I think Ian has been especially excited since he's really taken an interest in soccer over the past couple years. For about a month now, I've been on the lookout for some soccer cleats and we finally got some shin guards and soccer socks yesterday for the big introduction.

Let's start our story by saying that things were not well on the home front. Ellison had a complete meltdown 5 minutes before we were set to leave (I took away her blanky as punishment for the way she was treating Jude). On top of that, I had to put a "sportsy" outfit together for her which she did not approve of and that led to a further outburst of tears. I mean, I liked the blue on blue ensemble with the orange socks (her team color) but she obviously did not. Through her tears she told me that none of the other kids would be dressed like that. Oh really...and how old are you again??! At just the right time, Ian came home from work and brought some calm to the storm. We may not have made it to soccer had I been doing it alone.

We finally load everyone into the van and within 2 minutes our little soccer player is knocked out cold! Mind you the church where she is playing is only 7 minutes away with traffic. So we wake her up and she and Ian run onto the field. Thanks to the little meltdown, we were unable to leave home in time to be there early. Me and the boys arrive on the field to see Ian holding Ellison running from coach to coach looking for her team. He is finally able to find her team and they are already doing drills. NOT GOOD! She immediately clammed up and would not leave Ian's side. All of the kids practiced their dribbling and shooting ...but not our girl. She watched and observed. She sat very close to daddy the entire time. Nearly an hour passed without a bit of action out of Ellison. That is until the snacks were pulled out. This was the only time she actually sat near the team without Ian around.

I can see so much of me in that little girl. I am the same way. Although it's not approaching a soccer field in an outfit I don't like with kids I don't know and a coach who I'm not sure about, I have to feel a situation out before I'll dive in and try something. It's amazing what they pick up! I am so blessed to be complimented by my husband because he is nothing like that. He goes after life 100%. He really wanted her to be a part of organized sports to help her overcome some of her fears. I'm so thankful for his insight and love for his 2 hesitant girls.

Oh and BTW... I cannot conclude this post without a note about the Juder. He had to be pulled off of the field by yours truly, with Malik in the Baby Bjorn, multiple times. He even lined up with another team as there were practicing their drills. If I could have I would have gotten a picture. He was so ready to kick one into the net!

I hope you are all well. Thanks to those of you who keep up with our lives. The fun just keeps on coming. I hope to update tomorrow about our vacation.

2 weeks in pictures

We've had 2 weeks of changes in our house. We now have a 2 year old. A first hair cut for Jude. 3 baby teeth gone. A little girl in pre-k. Here are some pictures to tell it all.

Jude Celebrating his second b-day at school.

Love List

My mom periodically gives me a magazine called Above Rubies. This edition featured an article on a Love List. The idea comes from Mother Theresa's quote "It's not how much you do, but how much love you put in the doing." Basically instead of focusing on a To Do List filled with tasks (that I never get done) it forces you to look over your day and think of all the unseen acts of love. To quote the article it says " I believe this list would be more telling as to how productive the day actually was."

I've been thinking about this A LOT!! I am such a doer and I love nothing more than a clean house with laundry done, and meals planned. I am actually a doer to a fault...BIG TIME. It's hard for me to be still and easier to keep things in order than it is to stop and read a book when the dishes are pilled high, or hold a little one after a nap instead of rushing off to cook dinner.

So today I added something to my love list. I decided to pull out the inflatable pool, blow it up and fill it (we don't have a hose mind you) and let the kids go crazy. It was worth all the sweat to hear the giggles and laughs. This created more to my to do list but I hope it was a fun day for them!

What about you..what's on your love list??


PS- The kids must have started their own list, because they all took a nap this afternoon. What a way to love mama!

From 4 to 5- Malik

Nearly 3 weeks ago we got a call from DFACS telling us that they had 2 little boys who were about to come into foster care. They were both in need of placement. Of the 2 we chose Malik who had come into the system for "abandonment." Since welcoming him in we have learned a lot more about his story. A number of you have asked where we stand with things so I wanted to use this as a chance to update you.

It turns out that at 2 months old Malik's mother gave him to a friend who in turn gave him to her grandmother. This lady took care of him up until a month or so ago when Malik's mom came to get him (Malik is 7 months old). She then left him with another person which is when the grandmother who had been raising him called DFACS to get them involved. So when they called us, he had indeed been abandoned but we just didn't know all of the details surrounding it. A week ago I would have said that it looks like we are not going to have the chance to adopt him, but only God really knows that. We at first thought he was leaving last week Thursday and after a tearful goodbye I got a phone call saying there was a mix up and he would be returning. I was then told that he would be with us through the 18th of August. Last night, however, Malik's caseworker came over and told us that we should expect that he will be here longer than the 18th. (On a side note she told us a story of a 12 month old that she had just visited and the foster parents are about to adopt. So encouraging to hear that!!)

So...how are we adjusting. Well I have to be honest and say that this transition has been really hard. It's difficult because our family has grown and with that comes growth of laundry and our overall responsibilities. I just looked at my post about grocery shopping and laughed. I have not been to the grocery store for a big trip since he came. At the same time, he could be leaving and we'd be back down to a family of 4 again which is why I think we just keep rolling along like "ahh no big deal". When you birth a baby everyone knows that life has to stop. When you're a foster parent it's a little bit different.

Since Malik has come we've had so many cool moments in the midst of the busy. We've watched our extended family become excited and on board with what we're doing, we've had countless conversations about foster care and adoption, and we've loved on this little guy along with our kids. One of the best moments is watching Malik respond to seeing Jude and Ellison after he wakes up! His eyes literally light up. They make him laugh so hard and they love to help take care of him. He has started scooting all around and eating food from a spoon, 2 things he didn't do when he came. Ellison commented that we should call his mommy and tell her.

We feel really blessed to be a part of his life and his story for however long God would have that to be. A friend of mine from small group commented that kids are only ours for a season. That is so very true and something that I've taken for granted with my own children. We are also sad for Malik to think about what his life will be like should he go back to a situation where his mom could randomly be in and out of his life. From what we found out last night, she is homeless and is expecting another baby. Malik had also been termed "failure to thrive" and was without any vaccinations or doctor visits upon his arrival. So sad to think that that is the reality for not just him but so many babies in our country and all over the world!

So we are continuing to press forward each day trying to figure things out and trusting God when we just don't know the answers. Thanks for all of your kind words, prayers and support. What a blessing it is to be surrounded by a community of people so involved in this guy's life.

Change is Good

There are a number of things that I can tie to the book Captivating lately. My post tonight is no exception :-).

Over the past month or so I've gotten an itch to start changing things around our apartment. Since we've been married we've always lived in apartments, duplexes or flats. With each change (6 so far) a big bubble of excitement rises up in me about decorating! At the beginning of our marriage I was a little bit frustrated that God would wire me to do this stuff so much but t yet we never owned a home. I've now come to see that because I love this stuff so much I've had a part in making each of our places feel more like home. How fun! And the best part is if I don't like it, we'll be moving at some point anyway.

We've lived in our current apartment for well over a year now, so why the sudden changes now you might ask?? At the start of the summer I was invited to take part in a Bible study with a wonderful group of women. On the first week, I got a chance to go in Kristin's home, which happens to be an apartment as well. It was beautiful. Each and every room was painted. It felt so calming and peaceful. My brain immediately started churning as to what I could do to bring some cozy to our place as well. One Friday Kristin came over to my house and she was so encouraging with her words. She commented on how she really liked my style. Together we walked through each room and both of us were bursting with ideas. We were speaking the same language. After she left that day I was ready to take the plunge.

In the book Captivating, I read that women were meant to display God's beauty. Not all of us are wired to do things like this, but in each of us there is a way that we can display beauty. That is our gift to the world and my world begins with my family. Thinking about this and feeling the motivation from Kristin really spurred me on. Add on a husband who loves doing this kind of thing too and you've got yourself a paint party till 2AM. My next stop is just off of Windward Parkway to have fun in my friend Joy's place.

Here are some pictures of some of the things we did. It was so much fun bringing a little of His beauty to our home!




Here is the piano that I repainted. We also painted the dining area the color behind the piano. It's antiqued but you can't really see it in the picture.



These are pictures of our years in Europe. We changed the location of the pics and added the words. The words really sum it up well!


We painted the bottom half of the wall and added a shelf. We also spray painted some of the frames. Oh...and there is a pillow I made for the couch too.

We did it!

For well over a year I have vowed never to grocery shop with my kids. The last time scarred me for some reason that I'm sure was related to Wal-Mart(it's gigantic and I always need something that's on the other side of the store when I'm on the opposite side), nursing and going potty. Just too much for a mother to handle sometimes. Now that hasn't meant that I don't ever run in quick and get stuff with them but the BIG grocery trip has been done in the late evenings when the little ones are in bed and on a rare occasion or two before they wake up. I decided, that I needed to try it again because for one reason or another I wasn't able to go in the evenings anymore and then we end up feasting on cheap fast food or throwing together a meal of randomness made of whatever we could find in the fridge and pantry.

Now you may be thinking "what's so hard about grocery shopping with kids?" For me, I don't just grocery shop. It's a process. First I spend time evaluating the sales and planning meals (through the help of some great websites couponmom.com, southernsavers.com, e-mealz.com) cutting my coupons and then I'm off. Today I was armed with nearly 20 coupons going to the store. So when I get there I have to spend time comparing the deal I'm getting with my coupons on national brands versus just buying the generic. Children do not understand why I'm closing my eyes and doing the math while they are begging for Apple Jacks or the Orange Juice in the pretty container. I mean I can't blame them there. However, I've heard time and time again that kids will do what they are trained to do so let the training begin...again!

So today was pretty successful day. Other than Jude saying "owwt, owwt (out) every 3 aisles followed by him pulling Ellison's hair just to get a reaction, we all survived. Here are some things that made it work today. If you have any other tips to add, please feel free to post them. This will be a weekly adventure and the more prepared I am the better it'll be...I hope.

Winning Tips of the Day:
1. I tried to be organized. I organized the list according to the locations in the store to make it as quick as possible. I also tried to make notes on my list about the value of the coupon so that I didn't have to search through my envelope to figure out what is the best deal.
2. I hyped up our trip to Ellison big time. I told her we were going on an adventure and equipped her with her camera to take pictures.
3. I shopped at Publix which is right across the street from our complex. This makes for a very quick commute which seems to be a winner. Also, I LOVE PUBLIX. I know they are more expensive but for our basic needs (excluding meat) I go there. They unload my cart, bag my stuff and load it in the car. All I have to do is swipe the card and hand over the coupons. At the end of our trip today a very nice old man gave Ellison and Jude a dollar each. He also told us that he'd be singing on Friday at 12 if we'd like to come and hear him. They also know our family and are always so nice to our kids. I really love the neighborhood feel in a huge suburb where you can feel one of the numbers.
4. I gave the kids a snack and drink right before we left the house and they seemed to be content in the food department.
5. I prayed. Yep! I am a firm believer in prayer and although there were some tantrums, hitting and hair pulling I found that I was able to handle them better.

So there you have it. A grocery trip without too many tears AND I saved 70 dollars my favorite.