1 Month Old

Asher turned 1 month old yesterday! It's crazy how quickly the time flies by. With a few minutes to spare I wanted to write about our transition.

Overall he is a really sweet baby. We love to hold him and may have created a bit of a monster already because it seems that he really loves to be held as well. Ellison and Jude both jump at the chance to do anything to help with him. They are doing GREAT at being older siblings.

Asher is waking up about every 3 hours to eat during the day and in the nights he does a couple of 4 hour stretches. I'm finding that I'm very anxious for him to drop that 2/3 AM feeding but I keep reminding myself that he's only 4 weeks old :-). He had some promising long stretches in the beginning, but I think he's settled in on a late night feeding, mid of the night and early morning. He is not very interested in his baby toys like a swing or bouncy but I've found that the miracle blanket comes in handy during the day. When he is swaddled he will tolerate the bouncy for 10-15 minutes. That makes it tough to get things done honestly. Thankfully we've had a lot of help with meals and some play dates for Ellison and Jude as well. For the month of June we are all at home all day together. I'm looking forward to it, but I know it's not going to be easy to juggle everything.

This month has been filled with lots of emotion for me. I really soak up the moments that we get to nurse in the quiet. I look at Asher and realize what an absolute blessing it is to have him here and healthy. It still amazes me that he grew inside of my womb. What a miracle!! There have been moments where I've had to laugh as all 3 of them are needing something and there's only 1 me. I've counted down the minutes on the clock till Ian gets home on many a days and have been more worn out physically and emotionally than I've ever been in my life. There are times when I feel like I can't give another thing. Period.

With all of these emotions, however, I'm thankful for the little reminders of what a small window I have with Asher...for that matter with all of our kids. With Jude's time in the NICU and in light of those around us who have faced tragic losses of little ones, it makes me so grateful for the opportunity to do this again. To have a healthy little baby. It does indeed make the nights more bearable as well as the showerless days and the moments when nothing but my arms will quiet his cry.

So to be honest, it has not been easy but there have been moments of joy in the midst of it all. Just this morning in church I was holding Asher as the worship leader sang "He love us, oh how he loves us." The tears were streaming as I was holding a little tangible reminder of what it means to be held in the arms of God, and to be loved by Him more than we can comprehend.

There you have it, one month under my belt as a mama of 3 :-).